• you make me feel like crap

    by  • March 4, 2012 • Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    i love the person you used to be so much. i miss the days i could actually see myself with you in the future. i miss the days you actually treated me with respect, and showed that you cared about me. now i get treated like a piece of crap. and i have such low self respect that i continue to try and make this work. it’s not because i love you. it’s because i’m too scared of change and i hate not knowing what’s to come. it’s sad that i would rather put myself through this than go through change. i can never respect you for the way you treated me. i sick of waiting around for you to be the person you used to be. i wish we could go back, but it just won’t happen, you’ve hurt me too many times, and all it does is cause more and more relationship problems. i’ve tried so hard, i’ve forgiven you too many times, and i’ve been waiting too long for change. i feel so stupid, what kind of person would actually want to be with someone who pushes them, punches things, who doesn’t even have respect to talk to me when i’m upset because ‘you don’t feel like talking’, who tells me to shut the fuck up when i’m crying, when clearly i’m crying because of the way you treat me, someone who leaves me in a house by myself when they know i am scared to be alone in someone else’s house overnight, who leaves me downtown by myself, who texts older ladies dirty things, who constantly lies, someone who yells at me when i’m crying when you’re supposed to be the person who comforts me, who never says sorry for anything they do, who doesn’t even feel bad for any of the things i’ve just mentioned, who knows they don’t love me but continue to ‘love’ me when they want sex. and so many other things. i can’t wait for the day i meet the person who treats me with all the love and respect i deserve. too bad it’s not you. you promised me you wouldn’t hurt me again. turns out you’re just another guy that’s ruining my trust. i’ll miss the guy i fell head over heels for and i’ll always wonder what could have happened if you stayed the same. but i know i’m a great girl and any guy would be lucky to have me. i know for a fact that i deserve respect and i should never have a guy make me feel this sad, you’ve brought me to my lowest point. this is so hard for me because i start to think of all the amazing times we had together, i’m so attached to what used to be, i don’t want to let it go and it kills me to say goodbye to all of that. i want someone who loves me unconditional. someone who wouldn’t give up on me just because i’m crying. i can’t walk on egg shells trying to make sure i don’t do something that makes you give up on me. i want a patient love, i want to be worth all the hard times. i want a crazy passionate, compassionate, understanding adventurous love. i’ll miss you, and i’ll always love that boy who made me feel the happiest i’ve ever felt. i know i’ll probably never have the guts to send you this, but it makes me feel better getting this all out. i hope one day i’ll have enough self respect to expect better for myself and not settle for this. i can no longer see a future with you, and i don’t even care to try. i hope you have a good life, and i hope all your dreams come true, and i hope you find a girl that’s worth your respect, i know you’ll make her a happy girl.
    love always

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