After everything, I should have at least been worthy enough to hear it in person, but clearly I raised my expectations of you too high. I should have known that you wouldn’t have the courage to face me, or at the very least speak with me on the phone. No, you sent an email. You’ve made things very clear with your choice: that you value someone who has lied to you, deceived you, and manipulated you more than you value me and our boys; that you would rather be in a hurtful, destructive, and toxic relationship than sleep alone; that you choose to spend your days anxious and paranoid, suspicious and obsessing about where she is, what she’s doing and with whom, unable to believe her stories, always wondering when the other shoe will drop, rather than with the people who care most about you and offer that honestly and unconditionally.
I was glad to talk with you and help you through a difficult time, as I would for anyone I care about. And that’s all it was to me, helping a friend in need. It was fine. But you changed the game with what you wrote and what you said. You weren’t speaking in the abstract. You were talking about real things, real intentions, real feelings. You had a plan. You came to me. And yes, I am disappointed. Disappointed in myself for believing in the changes you promised me you had made and trusting you enough to open my heart to you again, even after everything you did before. And yes, I am hurt. Hurt that you could imply a future, and then walk away with no explanation again.