Dear Bulimia Nervosa Non-Purging Type,
There are so many things I want to say to you but I just can’t find the words because my mouth is full of food. I am so angry at you for ruining my life. And the worst part is, I don’t even know where you come from so I can’t begin to fight you off.
Everyone tells me I’m fat because I have no self-control. I’m ugly because I don’t know how to take care of myself. My obesity and self-image issues are a result of choices I have made. Do you think I want this for myself?! Do you think I want to hate myself so much I can’t stand to have sex with my husband naked? Do you think I want to keep shoving food down my throat every time I get upset? Do you think I want to look like this!?!?!
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
At least if I purged I wouldn’t look like this. But no, you had to take that away from me too. My one last hope of public dignity. I don’t care if I hate myself inwardly but when it starts to affect every second of my every day I care. Why won’t you just leave me alone? It’s like you’re always there, lingering in the back of mind, waiting to strike.
How am I supposed to keep on living with you? With myself? You make me just want to crawl out of my skin and die.
Thanks for ruining my life.