I really wish someone would actually be here for me right now. I have best friends, but they all have their own issues. Yeah sure, they “listen”. They do so by letting me talk and when I pause, saying “Ok.” or “Mhm.” or my favorite: “I know how that feels.”
I used to have someone that listened. That cared. Stared at me with empathetic eyes, told me he wish he knew what to say. He would put his arm around me and ask how he could help. He’d kiss my forehead and make it all disappear…I fell in love with him.
Now he doesn’t talk to me. He feels this is what is best. Him walking away. He thinks this will save me the pain of rejection. So I’m back to my friends, who are useless. Because all I want is him back.
I am such a needy, useless bitch. I just this to end. I hate surviving every day. All I want is to be at peace.