• Choking

    by  • March 4, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Loneliness • 2 Comments

    I really wish someone would actually be here for me right now. I have best friends, but they all have their own issues. Yeah sure, they “listen”. They do so by letting me talk and when I pause, saying “Ok.” or “Mhm.” or my favorite: “I know how that feels.”

    I used to have someone that listened. That cared. Stared at me with empathetic eyes, told me he wish he knew what to say. He would put his arm around me and ask how he could help. He’d kiss my forehead and make it all disappear…I fell in love with him.

    Now he doesn’t talk to me. He feels this is what is best. Him walking away. He thinks this will save me the pain of rejection. So I’m back to my friends, who are useless. Because all I want is him back.

    I am such a needy, useless bitch. I just this to end. I hate surviving every day. All I want is to be at peace.

    2 Responses to Choking

    1. friend
      March 4, 2012 at 9:36 pm

      can i be your friend? if you want to talk i’d love to listen, no interruptions, no advice unless you ask for it, no “i know how that feels”. just me, you. can i be your friend?


    2. Palak
      March 10, 2012 at 9:09 am

      I read your letter and it felt like an entry in my diary…its everything i feel…He also left me bcoz he thinks he causes me too much trouble..he checks on me thru my frnds n i feel so jealous that they get to talk to him..they tell me he still cares..bt i hate t that he wont talk to me..i hate his stupid will power that allows him to stay away from me..i used to joke with him that u r like drugs for me & that used to make him feel spl…. n nw wen he is gone i m lierally suffering from withdrawal symptoms..

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