• This has happened too many times

    by  • March 2, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Addiction • 0 Comments

    Is this really what love is? No matter how cliche that question may be.

    You have a substance abuse problem. I keep trying to get you to realize that it shouldn’t be this way and you never listen to me. You shouldn’t choose drugs and alcohol over your girlfriend of two years every time you’re given the choice. That’s not how this is supposed to be. I know your life is hard at the moment, but this isn’t a way to make it better.

    In the past two weeks, I have been so sick that I should have gone to the hospital twice. But where were you? You were out drinking and smoking and doing other sorts of drugs. I asked you to come home and when you finally did, you were so drunk that you threw up in the planters outside the front door. I had had a very severe allergic reaction that left me so weak I couldn’t even get into bed and you didn’t seem to care. Then, a couple days later, because of bronchitis, I was so weak that I passed out on the floor for an hour and you weren’t there to help because you were too busy getting drunk.

    When I had a miscarriage last year, I tried to tell you. You told me to wait, because you were out with your friends even though I begged you to listen to me because it was important.

    Last night, we got home from the city at midnight. I had taken you and your friend to an exhibit that you had been dying to go to, even though I was still sick, because it was the only time you could go. I paid your entrance fee and everything. When we got back home, I hadn’t even taken off my shoes before you declared that you were going over to smoke and drink and So-and-So’s house. At 12:30am. When I asked you why and told you I thought it was kind of mean, you yelled at me that I was being selfish because I wanted you to stay home like you had said you would earlier. So you left and never came back home.

    I don’t understand why this is happening. I do everything for you and you just use me up. I want to help you but you’ll never listen to me. You are intoxicated more often than not. You go through at least five bottles of wine a week by yourself, plus the other amounts of tequila and beer that your friends share with you. It’s not healthy, and it’s not fair.

    I don’t know why you won’t listen to me. Last night wasn’t the first time that I brought it up either, every time you get angry and tell me I have no idea what I’m talking about and that I’m being selfish. I don’t know what to do anymore. I love you so much, but you are ruining both me and yourself with your substance abuse.

    We’re both better than this.

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