A few days ago you posted on fb that you were seriously considering moving to Texas. My heart dropped. I’d never tell you but the thought of it scares me half to death. I already miss you. The thought of never ever seeing you again makes me sick to my stomach. I haven’t been able to sleep very well, and the other times I’ve been trying to face other things going on in my life that you know about.
I should be happy for you. But all I can think about is trying to get rid of the fact that I care so much. The silence between us is unbearable at the moment and I wish you weren’t so excepting of what I wrote before. Even though I would never tell you this I want you to stay.
I don’t want you to move to Texas. I don’t want you to stop being my friend. I don’t want you to just give up on me. I want you to ask me…to drive over here and tell me what I need to hear. I wish I could say this to you. But I can’t.
You wrote me a few weeks ago how you wished that this year would bring new dreams for me. Well I was hoping that somewhere down the road you would be in it somewhere. But you just gave up. It doesn’t influence the other choices that you know I’m making right now even though you apparently are thinking of moving.
I just wish you could have known that I care about you… that I love you. I wish you could have known that somewhere down the road if you had asked….I would have. But now that you are seriously thinking of getting away and of running away that you’ll never know just how I feel.
I’ll always be here. Hoping you’ll gain the courage to come back. I miss you already.