I hate that i’ve resorted to say all of this on a random website because i know it wouldn’t matter if i told you. I hate that I still want you so bad what is it about you and only you. I hate that you don’t care and you don’t know how much i’ve hurt all because of you. You will never ever understand how much I love you, you won’t. every time i think of something you did it physically hurts my heart. I hate you but i know its not your fault i put so much effort into you. Actually you don’t even know how much i tried for you or how much i feel for you. You’re immature and selfish right now, why can’t i realize that and move on? You literally meant absolutely nothing to me a year ago. I didn’t care about you at all because you were just another boy that i knew liked me and i knew youd never ever have me. but for the past few months i would have done anything for you to just make me yours. Why don’t you get it? Why won’t you try? I’ve cried so much all because of you and you won’t ever even know it. I can do better than you I don’t need you to be happy. I keep forgetting that and I wish it wasn’t true and I could just have you but if I can’t it won’t be the end of me. You’re perfect and I hope you realize it one day not for my benefit but for yours. I know you have problems of your own and they all end with you being insecure, I wish I didn’t figure that out about you because then I wouldn’t care as much but taking you off the pedestal and just realizing you’re as human as I am makes me want you more. I hope you become whole by yourself and that one day you love yourself as much as i love you because i do with all my heart love you. I promise I do. It’s taken me fours years to realize how much you mean to me. But you’re too busy on focusing on the physical temporary fun things and i hope you have you’re fun and are happy. I’d still take you to be mine any day, every day. And to be honestly i hate that i feel like that about you. but i always will. I love you I hope it hits you one day.