• the definition of confusion

    by  • February 27, 2012 • Confusion • 0 Comments

    I’m going to write this and then forget you. You are one confusing son of a bitch. I like (liked??) you so much, and I thought that maybe you felt the same way? But when I tell you how I feel, you turn me down. Then, it’s like you shot up your flirting game. Why?? Did you mean to? I had a place to live, you wanted in. I had spring break plans, suddenly, you have the same. Why did you put your hand on my knee at that party? Better question, why did it stay there? Why did you take my face into your hands? I’m pretty sure I know the answer. Either way, it was so confusing. Where you really going for that kiss? Or did I read it wrong.

    Can you please just be straight with me? It’s great and fine if you do not like me, but then STOP acting like you do. I think half my problem is that I am so tired of being alone, that I just am like, yearning for someone. And you just happen to be in that spot right now. I don’t know how or what to think around you. Stop flirting with me. Stop playfully nudging me. Stop hugging me like you don’t want to let go. Stop telling your roommates about me so they stop making little comments. Just stop.

    You have to know that I like you, maybe love you. I think I’m finally getting over it though. I’m starting to see your faults. Like you always saw mine. I was blinded. I’m not saying you aren’t a good guy, you are the best, the greatest, my dream guy really. You’re funny, and smart, and you always know how to make me laugh. You like the same music I do, we get along so well, and all my friends love you. But, I’m starting to get over it. We will be great friends, but I’m afraid that’s all we are destined to be. Geez this fucking sucks. I feel like we should talk about this before we move in together. I feel like maybe I should find my own place. I feel like YOU should find your own place. If we move in together, YOU cannot pull this flirty I-like-you-shit. You cannot get jealous when I go out on dates.

    Was it just my imagination last Friday when you insisted on knowing who I went dancing with? Am I making this all up in my head? Probably. I just want someone to be with. I want someone who will be there with me, to cuddle, to kiss, to just hang out with. You are only there for the hanging out. Twice cuddling. Almost a kiss.

    I want you, but I can’t figure out what you want. So this is it. I’m gonna stop trying. Stop making myself late to other things just to spend some more time with you. Stop putting off things in hopes that you’ll call. I’m done. So, it’s your turn. If you want something more, you make the move. I’ll be here, but not for long. Do you know how many guys I’ve ignored for you? That stops now. I was so stupid.


    “The best girl you’ve ever met”

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