I’m so glad that my -boyfriend and best friend have managed to forge a friendship so unlikely that I almost didn’t believe it until I saw it for myself. I can’t begin to express my gratitude towards finding out on my 21st birthday. This is all forgiven, especially when I walked into my apartment, which is supposed to be the place that I can go to get away from anything that is stressful and a place to relax, and find the two of you engaged in a knock-down, drag out fight about whether or not I knew that you were together. My dear friend, rest assured that I know. You may both collect your papers from my roommate, whilst I am at a conference in Galveston. I don’t want to see either of you, and you can both go find happiness in a world called FUCK YOU.