• How did I get here? Am I asking of too much?

    by  • February 25, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 7 Comments

    I love you with a depth unlike anything I’ve ever known before.
    I love you with open eyes and no false believe, I know you inside out.
    I love you as in you.

    BUT I am greedy and selfish. A constant battle not to be, that
    I am unable to win – no matter how hard I try.

    I want you, no – I need you, in my life to ever find true happiness!

    I want you every day, every night and warm your heart in between.
    I want to be your comfort, your shoulder in need.
    I want to be the one you will always be safe with.
    I want to be a big reason for your happiness.
    I want to be the one wrapping my arms around you to stay, when I was the one to make you angry.
    I want you to know, not think, I want you to know and never doubt my love.
    I want you to see my truth of how wonderful and special of a man you are.
    I want to be the one that finally breaks through your walls of self doubt and fear.
    I want to be your home, this place of safe, peace and solitude.
    I want to be your fun and entertainment.
    I want to be the one to show you that one woman can be everything you want.
    I want to be the one that drives you up the wall just to realize that in a way, you love every moment of that too.
    I want to be the one to make you see that loyalty is not just an empty word.
    I want to prove to you that unconditional trust will never be broken.
    I want to be the one to show you that intensity of love doesn’t fade by time, nor routine and will be fresh like the very first day until the end.
    I want to be the one to word banter with you and let you win because you are the man.
    I want to be the one to satisfy your fantasies.
    I want to be the one that you never ever feel alone or lonely again.
    I want to be the one you can’t get enough of.
    I want to be the one you want to teach what you know.
    I want to be the one you want to learn from.
    I want to be the one you will never want to let go of.
    I want to be the one you want to spend the rest of your days with.

    I want to be the one for you to make this dream we’re living come true.
    I want to be the one you really want faults and all.

    I want you to make me believe again and I want to live it, breathe it, touch it.
    I want it all because I give it all in return.
    I want to jump and want you to take my hand and make me.

    Nothing less will ever do. I know what I want and I know what I don’t want.
    I will never again settle for ‘content’ when it comes to love.
    I will rather die alone and still feel less alone, then I would with anybody less then you.

    I know you think that you can’t give me all of this.

    What you don’t realize is, that ONLY you can! No, I have not a speck of doubt, I KNOW you can.

    You are more then I ever thought exists and you, you don’t even realize your worth (and oh god have I tried the best with options you’ve given me).

    Your ONLY fault I can not live with (and will always stand in the way) is, that you are not mine, while I am already yours.

    This is the root to any and all, mis-assumptions/understandings, strange behaviors, arguments and hurts, we have ever went through (and still going through)!

    How did I even get here? Am I asking too much?

    Is it impossible for those wants, wishes, feelings to be mutual?
    Is it? Does my idea of love exist? Or not? It does!
    After 44 years have I become a naive idiot or do I just finally know myself enough to really know my wants, needs, emotions?

    I know what you’d probably say, but I know what I know and even you won’t take that from me.

    I simply KNOW how I feel and what I want, and would go past my fear and pain to get there.

    Be honest, do you?

    Maybe it’s me who is just not good enough and want to much…
    but I promise I will never change!

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    7 Responses to How did I get here? Am I asking of too much?

    1. DC
      February 25, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      Damn… You live anywhere near Dallas m’lady?




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    2. SillyMe
      February 25, 2012 at 2:53 pm

      Why Sir, are you making advances at me? 🙂

      I’m taking your ‘damn’ as that my words are something desirable?

      Thank you for making me smile!




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    3. D
      February 26, 2012 at 6:45 am

      Yes, Girl, I very much liked your words of longing. I want these heart-felt expressions of love and passion said to me. I want to know the woman who is capable of feeling this deeply.




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    4. SillyMe
      February 26, 2012 at 6:38 pm

      Thank you, D

      Maybe we all would like to hear those, or similar words, from the one we love. I know, I would but I shalt be so lucky…

      May you to find what you are searching for, you sure sound like a wonderful man yourself!




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    5. DC
      February 27, 2012 at 4:18 am

      We pass each other, two souls, recognizing a longing unfulfilled in each other, the briefest of touches, lost to each other in the ether swirl, cloaked in anonymity.

      And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk It took to blossom. – Anais Nin

      Farewell




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    6. SillyMe
      February 28, 2012 at 8:49 am

      Thought provoking, D
      What are you suggesting?




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    7. DC
      February 28, 2012 at 9:33 am

      I’m not real sure. I just know that I would love to know the woman who would write the above and mean every word of it. It’s pretty much what I would like to say in turn to such a woman if I could ever find the one worth that much of myself. I keep hoping she’s out there.

      Tell you what – if you feel so moved or just want to take a virtual leap of faith ask the admin for my e-mail, refer him/ her to this thread where I give my permission for you to have it. If I never hear from you we’re just two ships passing in the night. Lady’s choice.

      Else maybe we could explore some more Anais Nin quotes, see where things go. I dunno – I guess hope springs eternal, ya know?




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