• Dear David…

    by  • February 25, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Smitten • 0 Comments

    Dear David…

    I don’t know where to begin. The first time I saw you was in English class, where I didn’t know anyone. We were in the same group for a project, and you had this amazingly intense stare which, to be honest, frightened me at first. But come October, I’d come to know well the person behind it. By November, I’d suffered heartbreak and you’d been there with me. You’d helped me through it. And for that I can never repay you. When you were broken, I helped fix you. And it was on that night, when we were laughing together in your basement, that I felt something stir inside me. The next time I saw you, I couldn’t look you in the eye. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know why; this wasn’t supposed to happen with one of my best friends. I had never before had a best friend of the opposite sex, but I was fine with it. It was new territory. And then, slowly, how I felt about you evolved and changed and grew. And I don’t even know now, what this is. What I feel for you. I don’t know…I hesitate to call it love; we’re both only fifteen.

    But I can’t bear it. Every time we talk, I find myself laughing and joking with you. I find myself confiding in you, and I find myself seeking comfort from you. But then you found out. You were angry. I didn’t know why.

    You spoke to me about it, and you said that nothing should ever happen between the two of us, and that it would destroy our whole friendship when we parted ways. I agreed with you. But I know, deep down, I don’t believe that. I don’t believe any of that.

    Whenever we’re together, I’m always filled with joy. And when we part, I always find myself longing to be back with you. You show all of my other friends so much affection, but I barely get any. I do believe that you still know of my feelings for you, and you just don’t want to hurt me. But it already hurts, David. It hurts because whatever it is I feel for you grows stronger every day. And I can’t ignore that. I need you. I need your warmth and your comfort and your support. I want everything from you, and I’m willing to give you everything in return.

    Perhaps you think it’s not worth the risk, and I think it isn’t either. I want to feel on top of the world, head-over-heels in love with someone. And I want that person to be you. I can’t stand it; I can’t stand just being near you and not being able to show you my true feelings. We always are together, laughing, talking, but nothing further. And I just want to love someone. And I want to love you. I don’t even know, but maybe I already do. And I lament every day that you can’t give me the chance to prove it to you. Whatever this feeling is, this “feeling,” whether it be love or affection or infatuation or whatever it is, I beg of you to return it. Please, David. For I love you with all of my heart, and I wish to be loved in return. I love you. Farewell.

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