• Fool for You

    by  • February 24, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    So,

    You love me. You think I’m beautiful. I am necessary in your life.

    You’re full of shit.

    We’ve had a lot of nights together, sometimes its just us, sometimes you’ve got your friends over, sometimes its us and the bottle, or us and the pipe. You love to rant, you just go on and on, especially when you’ve been drinking. You don’t care. Your inhibitions go down. And I love that. I love how frequently you’ll lightly kiss my lips, or come lay with me in your bed. I love the forehead kisses, the mini-lessons, the way you make me feel so foolish for being a fool. I love your common sense and your kindness, your music and your motivational chats. Speaking plainly; I love you.

    I truly am a fool.

    You see, there are two sides to me; the side that loves you and the side that never wants to see you again. The side that is brave enough to want something real and honest with you, and the side that knows its never going to happen. Undulating so quickly between hope and heartache is bad for the soul. Bad for my soul. You want to see me happy. Sometimes you even make me happy, but you a far stronger source of pain. Perhaps it’s my pessimism, but I know that nothing can last, particularly between you and I. So why bother? Why fall for you if I know I’ll only fall right through? You might want to catch me. Hell, you may even try. But I know you dear, I know that something else will catch your eye. Just for a moment, then it too shall pass, but by that time I’ll be broken at your feet, just like shattered glass.

    I truly am a fool.

    Because no matter how I try, it’s you. You are the one I want to see on a bad day. You are the one I want to share my triumphs with. The one I want to kiss and cuddle. The one I want to sing for. The one I want to be good enough for. You are the one I want to do things with. But that last one is only a myth, because every time I get you out in public, it always seems like an ordeal. It reminds me that everything has a flip side. This is good, because it keeps my irrational dreams in check.

    I truly am a fool.

    ~Tidaa

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