• Depression.

    by  • February 23, 2012 • Depression • 0 Comments

    I hate you. I hate you so much. You’ve stolen who I was and who I am. I’m nothing now, nothing more than invisible to everyone because that’s how you make me. You have caused me to hurt myself, to stop eating, to live with constant panic attacks. I hate you.
    I can’t have a relationship with any boy because the fact you give me so much goddamn paranoia that they’re lying and cheating on me, I accuse to them to the point they actually do it.
    I fall for the boys who abuse me because that’s what I feel I deserve.
    Fuck you depression.
    Fuck you anxiety.
    Fuck you PTSD.
    Fuck you OCD.
    Why can’t you just leave me alone. Years and years of therapy, I’ve tried, I’ve tried everything. That small period of relief I had, Oh things were so great, I forgot how amazing it felt to be happy and love myself. But then you came back
    I thought I got rid of you, I thought I killed you off. I thought and I thought, and that’s what always brings you back. My neurotic mind always brings you back. Why, why can’t I stop thinking. I cause the worst to happen, I want the worst to happen.
    I call for the pain to happen so it doesn’t happen later on and it hurts worse.
    I hate you. I hate you so much
    You’ve taken over me, you’ve destroyed my person.
    I hate you.
    I fucking hate you.

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