I love you. I wish you’d give us a real chance. Sure our timing sucks, but we can make this work. It’s not like we’re living across the country from each other anymore. Please, let’s just give us a shot…because otherwise I’m going to be stuck wondering forever what this could’ve been.
-Robin
I know you are gone and never coming back
But this scent of you remains
And I feel bereft again
I know we both have moved on
But this little ache in my heart refuses to be sent away
And I know that we will never be at the same point that we were before
Yet this hollow yearning to try once more…remains
And I know if we ever crossed we will probably be strangers
Who once upon a time…knew each other’s bodies and souls intimately
Who were so in tune that other beings felt like a pale comparison
A tiny urge to know you all over again…still remains
And so I know you are gone and will probably never come back
But there is a little part of me where your touch remains
And I feel bereft again…
Dear N,
The way you make me feel is indescribable. I think I love you, but I don’t have the courage to tell you. This is the only way I can say it. Hoping that you will read this, but knowing that you won’t. When we met I thought it was just a summer fling, at least I tried to convince myself it was. We both knew it wasn’t. I know you felt the same way I did. Your friends all told me that you had the biggest smile when ever anyone said my name. The distance has always kept us apart. But I wish you could see how happy I get after talking to you. Just the fact that you text me or message me makes my day. I haven’t seen you in almost four years, but I still feel the same. That has to say something. I hope you feel the same. A part of me thinks you still do.
So why must we play this game? Why can’t one of us just suck it up and say how we feel? I never make the first move, I never say how I feel..but maybe this one time I should. Just maybe. But it is that slight chance that you have moved on that keeps me from telling you how I feel.
I want to be with you.
I want to be near you. Even if it is just for a day.
I just want you.
So here it is, plain and simple..
I love you.
love me maybe?
I hate this distance. I hate not knowing how you are doing or what you are thinking. Talking over email sucks big time. Everytime I check my inbox I’m looking for a note from you. And when I get one, I freak out because I’m afraid you’re going to say you’re done. I’m putting my trust and faith in God. I know He has you in His hands. His will is not for divorce, not for giving up. I’m willing to put in the work to make things work, I’m willing to be a better wife and mother. You are ALWAYS in my thoughts. During Spanish, through English, Math and especially New Testament. I know I’ll be ok regardless of what happens, but I want us to work. I want you. Forever and ever, amen.
No one knows what I am going through, yet they are all too quick to judge my every move. Every one has something to say. Every time I think things are okay, something goes wrong. Not anymore. I refuse to let this materialistic world get to me. I cannot handle it and I refuse to think that the thoughts of others are true. This is my life not any of yours. Go ahead and judge me. Tell me I’m not good enough. Tell me that I’m not pretty enough. Tell me I can’t do something. Judge me because I don’t go to a university. Judge me because I live at home. Go ahead, I dare you.
Little do you know, I had a drinking problem. Being home is the only way I can be happy without numbing the pain with alcohol. You don’t know that my family has changed and fallen apart and in doing so I fell apart. You don’t know that I have no time to myself. You do not know me. So judge me, but remember that you don’t know me, not even the slightest bit. I am stronger than you think. I can take it. I have finally come to terms with everything. I can admit to my problems, but I bet you can’t.
So go ahead and judge me, not because I said so, but because it’s what you do.
It doesn’t affect me anymore. I’m letting you go. I don’t need you.
Dear World,
Please read the context. I have a question that needs an answer.
I was friends with someone for about a year. I look back on it now, and they were mostly rude and just used me. Then, one day, they snapped. It was Christmas time, and I was playing holiday music from my backpack to get people into the spirit! She snapped and told me to “Turn that shit off! I’m fucking tired of this shit!” She’s never apologized to me to my face. After that, I stopped talking to her and asked for all my books and things back.
I’ve made some new friends, and these new people don’t like her. Yes, they do talk bad about her. But she (the girl) has done things to make them feel uncomfortable or upset. I joined in, too. I vented to the group about how she yelled at me and used me for books/money/other things.
The point is: I’ve never stuck up for her, but all anyone’s ever said was the truth. She’s now saying that she is “fully aware of everything you and the table have said about me– and how you never stuck up for me. Not once.”
Should I have stuck up for her? I wasn’t trying to say anything bad.. I only was venting. And they only said the truth.
Also, should I share the letter she wrote to me with them? (She just wrote it apologizing about the yelling and hoping I’m doing well.. I don’t really have any other close friends except for the ones that talked about her.)
Help..? 
I TOLD THEM
I was 7 1/2 months pregnant.
I told my husband – “please” stop drinking, stop gambling, stop taking pills, stop yelling at me…
I told my mother –
who lived two hours away, “please, come get me”. (When we got there, I had a placental abruption.)
I told the ambulance driver –
who asked about my husband, “just get me to the hospital”.
I told the obstetrician –
“just save my baby, I don’t care if there’s a huge X on my stomach” (as she explained she had to do an emergency C-section and there would be a visible scar)
I told the social worker –
they requested I speak with in neonatal “I don’t need counseling, I need a divorce” and I would divorce my husband in exactly six months. (I told her I could not take on the divorce until then as my two and a half pound baby [and my other daughter who was 2 yrs. old] needed me. I needed to care for my premature baby – and get stronger myself).
I told the lawyer –
it was “exactly six months, start the divorce”.
I told my daughters – 2 1/2 and 6 months old…
it wasn’t going to be easy but “I’d always be there for them”. We’d be poor for sure but they would always be happy, safe, loved, so loved.
I WILL NOT tell my ex-husband –
how he failed as a husband, father, man. He was in and out of their lives for 21 years, had a second marriage, divorce, 2 more kids and has not seen my girls in almost 7 years.
My daughters are now 21 and 19 –
they are beautiful, happy, incredibly smart, talented young women.
It has been an honor and a joy to be their mother. I am SO proud of them.
I told myself today, “you did a good job.”
At first, we couldn’t stand eachother. You liked my bestfriend, and I thought you were annoying. Then, you liked me. You helped me get over my heartbreak. We laughed. We cried. We loved. You were my everything. You were my world. Then, you broke up with me. You had no feelings for me anymore, and had second thoughts about your ex. I cried. I was nothing anymore. Then you told me you wanted me back, and how stupid you were. I wanted you back so bad. I missed you. Then you said we couldn’t be together. Lets just be good friends. I said okay, then you said nevermind. I’m not a toy, you can’t play with my emotions. This isn’t just about you. I wish I could say I’m over you, and what you did didn’t hurt me, but I can’t. I still love you, and miss you, and want you. But I’m not a second choice.
So…I really really like you. I like how you act. You’re so goofy and sincere. You don’t try to hide who you are whether it’s good or bad. You’re far from perfect and you know it. I know it. But you know what, it’s like I see all your imperfections and they add up to this wonderfully perfect person somehow. They say love is blind. I disagree. My love for you isn’t blind at all. I see it all and I love you anyway. God I love you. My life is so busy and sometimes in the middle of everything my mind goes to you and i think about things you said or how your touch felt. And I shake my head and smile. I’ve told you i love you but maybe I should tell you how much.
You’re like the sniffles. I wake up in the morning & you’re the first thing on my mind. You go away periodically throughout the day, but you never stay gone for long.
We have our seasons too. Every winter it’s like an addiction waiting. I see you every day if possible. I can’t ever get you out of my head. & I don’t want to.
But the winter is leaving & spring is coming. The time for us to become distant is in the near future. I’ll miss you. I already do.
But I can’t wait for the season to come where the sky is bright, the heat is strong, & my sniffles are back.
until then,
Te quiero. Je t’aime. Ti amo. I love you.
Click here for a letter.
