So, you told me yesterday you needed “to take a few days” to figure out whatever you need to figure out without me around. I don’t get it. I don’t like it, to me, a break is precursor to a break-up, but I said ok. Who am I to say no to something that you need?! I’ll never do that. Never. So, in the midst of job searching, studying for finals, going to class and preparing for my state board exam, I’m also now nursing a heartache the only way I know how: thinking about you non-stop.
I started by trying to think of all the things I didn’t like, all the negatives. And, let me tell you, I had a pretty good list going:
-You’re so messy. Maybe the messiest human being I’ve ever met!
-You don’t have a job, although you’re searching
-You’re friends are potheads
-You are joining the NAVY, and essentially will have to leave here
-You don’t listen, or maybe it’s that you just don’t “get it”…ever
But, as I was making this list I realized I was smiling. I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my tear streaked face. I realized that these were the very things that made me love you. All of your imperfections are imperfectly…perfect!
-The toothpaste you splatter on my newly cleaned mirror is so aggravating, but when you’re not here, it reminds me of you. You may be the messiest cook I have EVER met, but you’re a fantastic cook and like doing it! That is so sexy to me. I have to clean my apartment when you leave regardless of how clean it was when you came, how irritating- but it means you were here!
-You don’t have a job, BUT you quit your last job because you were doing something you didn’t believe in. I admire that, as much as it frustrates me that you’re unemployed.
-You’re friends may be lazy potheads, but they’re fun. I have to admit that I even have fun with them. Just don’t become a pothead with them.
-You’re joining the NAVY and will have to leave physically, but regardless you’ll be in my heart. And we both know I have a thing for a man in uniform.
-You may never listen, and it may hurt my feelings, and we may have the same conversation over and over and over again, but I would rather fight and make up with you than be with anybody else.
Those things about you that drive me absolutely crazy, are the very things I love. No matter how I look at it, I’m in love with you. No matter what you discover that you need during this “break,” I’m still in love with you. No matter what.
I just hope you figure out that you feel the same way.