• I wish you’d never think of me.

    by  • February 19, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    You make me crazy. I’ll never understand why I love you. Why I still love you. After everything. I want to hate you so badly, God, I wish I could. I know I probably should. But I’ll never hate you, no matter what you do or how bad you hurt me. Though I’ve screamed and cried those words several times, it’s just not in me to actually feel that way. You have all control over me. I gave you power over my emotions years ago. You own me, completely and wholly. And I’ll never understand why. You turned my whole world around, and I kinda like it. I’m such a fool for you. I’m addicted. You’ve got a tight grip on me, I’m suffocating and I dont want anything else. You’ve broken me almost beyond repair. You ripped my soul right out of me. I am just here. Just a shell of a being. Walking around with no purpose at all other than to be yours. It’s sick, it literally makes me ill to think about you and all that you have taken from me. I’m stuck. I’m having a hard time getting back to myself. The real me. The girl I was before you walked into my life and changed everything. I was just starting to be okay again then you pulled me back in. I love you. I wish you’d never think of me, I honestly believe that would be best. I love you, I cant do this. I love you and I hate myself for that.

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    2 Responses to I wish you’d never think of me.

    1. DC
      February 20, 2012 at 5:55 am

      Here’s praying that you find the strength, guidance and clarity to do what is best for you. What you describe does not sound healthy. While I have seen a few couples where the woman is as you describe the man is up to the task of being all she needs him to be. Doen’t sound like the case here.

      There is a Dom out there will be better for you. If this is who I think it is you have his number in your phone. If it’s someone else I recommend you leave what sounds like a one-way, toxic relationship.


    2. OP
      February 20, 2012 at 11:43 pm

      This is not who you think it is, Thank you for commenting anyhow. The prayers are much needed and appreciated. This relationship is indeed toxic. Evil, disastrous, abusive…But I cant seem to break free from this. Here’s to hoping I find strength, guidance and clarity, as well…




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