Have you ever seen the movie V for Vendetta? If you have, good for you! If not, it’s an amazing film and I highly recommend rushing out to the nearest Target or going on Net-flicks to watch it as soon as is humanly possible. Now, a little bit of a spoiler alert here, but when Eevee is locked up in a cell, constantly facing torture and relentless interrogation, the only comfort she has is a little slip of toilet paper that was all wadded up and stuffed into a rat hole between the hole of her cell and the next one over. The toilet paper contains the life story of the woman in the next cell over, Valerie, her words retelling how she endured constant discrimination because she was a lesbian and how she even lost the love of her life due to the corrupt government’s persecution.
Okay, so maybe I’m getting a little off track here, but I do have someplace I’m going with this, I swear. You see, I was watching the movie the other day; and no, I don’t like to pretend like I have the worst life in the world and ‘oh, woe is me’, but I’ve still had my own demons to face over the years, especially over the last few months. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially alone and about a month ago, I almost committed suicide. I was dealing with constant coughing fits, had a TB scare, had my heart broken by the love of my life, and I was even hit by a car. However, when I was watching Natalie Portman’s character reading this slip of toilet paper, the last words of the letter moved me.
“I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”
I burst into tears, not only because something in me, deep inside, needed to hear exactly those words, but also because I never realized until that moment how true it was. Every single one of us has demons to face and none of us can do it alone. Life can be so hard, and feeling utterly stranded is probably one of the most frightening feelings in the world. So I wanted to tell you, as is the case with Valerie, I love you. I know I don’t know your name or anything about you or what horrors you face daily, but know from my own experience that if you keep your will strong and fight with every inch of yourself to keep your essence and life, the very things you are entitled to keeping, you’ll be fine. And don’t think that you aren’t strong enough, because you are. I know you are. I love you so much, and I believe in you. You are truly beautiful. Don’t ever let people tell you that isn’t true, because it is. Life can be hard, but if you keep fighting, life really is worth it.
So live your life. Never surrender. Keep fighting with everything you have and know that, no matter what, I’ll be standing by your side, silently watching and holding your hand as you take on the world.