• How could I be so stupid..

    by  • February 19, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    it still blows my mind. we’ve known each other for, what, 11 years? and i’ve been in love with you from the start. it’s not like you don’t know, and it’s not like you don’t tell me you love me too. but, as painful as it is for me to admit, i know you don’t love me like i love you. i know that you never will. what i can’t quite understand is why i just can’t seem to let you go. you’ve been in and out of relationships since we met, some bad, some good, all wrong (in my opinion). i’ve been in one relationship since we met. she was great, but she wasn’t for me. you are. i’ve told you countless times how i feel, but it doesn’t seem to matter. now you’ve started this new fun relationship with a girl that doesn’t even know you, and you don’t know her, yet you tell me how in love you are, how perfect she is for you. did i mention that she’s 22 years old? what is wrong with you? no.. what is wrong with me?! I can’t believe that i just keep hanging on and being your friend that you tell everything to. i can’t hear it anymore. i can’t hear another story about the fun the two of you are having. i can’t listen to you telling me even one more time what a great little family you all make. seriously, i want to scream at the top of my lungs every time you open your mouth about her! i’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but i have no desire to meet her, to know her, to be her friend. i’m not even sure i can be your friend anymore. i see your face and my heart melts. i hear your voice and my knees get weak. i think of you and the butterflies in my stomach act as though they’re on speed. i can’t take it. i love you but i don’t want to anymore. we are never going to be together, we are never going to be together, we are never going to be together. i get it, but i hate it. best of luck with this new girl and all the ones to follow. i can’t hear it anymore. i love you, and i hate you.

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