• Single-mom. Can’t let anyone see me cry.

    by  • February 18, 2012 • Abuse • 0 Comments

    Dear Roger,

    You’re the father of my child. and i hate you. i loved u once. but now i hate you. Stupid part is. i would prob love you again if you wanted me to. I hate myself for that. years and years and years of hurt. for both of us. and i’m sorry for anything that i did to hurt u. but u prob deserved it. u have prob cheated and i just thought too highly of u to listen to all the signs. you say u haven’t but i can’t believe anything u say. you laid yours hands on me, and done physical harm. how could i have not said anything to anyone. My life has been in your hands. multiple times. and i would STILL love u if u asked. how fucked up is that. i would STILL love u after being punched in the stomach WHILE pregnant and left to cry. What part of my brain is so messed up that i would do that? how low is my confidence to allow myself to forgive. but hurt me all you want. i’d rather it be me than my daughter. she needs a dad, and you’re not there. you’re never there. idc what situations are in your oh so busy life that you can’t stop by and kiss your daughter goodnight every once and a while. u hate ME so much that you can’t even see her for a sec because i’ll be there. What gives u the right to dislike me when you’re the abusive person in this “relationship” sometimes i wish u would die. genuinely die. so i could lie to our daughter and tell her u were a great man and she would never know the real u. and the truth. she could think her daddy didn’t choose not to be there but that god chose. I could tell her the angels needed u. and she would think u were a hero. my poor lil girl. she doesn’t deserve you. she deserves more. i deserve more. I hate you. I’m finished. I’m taking her away. forever. you’re never allowed to be near us. i’ll tell her u died. i’ll cut myself off from everyone. i’ll move away. and never come back. just so she never has to be hurt by you.

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