• Perhaps…

    by  • February 18, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 3 Comments

    Maybe it’s not you I am missing…

    It could easily be the ideas of who I thought you were combine with the idea of having someone.
    It could just as easily be plain old you that I really do miss.
    I’m so used to the first that I keep second guessing myself about the second.

    I’m not sure anymore if my intuition was/is far more deceiving than it has ever been in my life;
    if I’m seeing real reasons to walk away;
    If I’m making up excuses based on what went wrong in past experiences;
    If it actually was/is a gut feeling that you’re truly worth it, even though this one feels absolutely sure;
    If the unsure feeling that has developed recently may just be my mind trying to push me away from you out of fear of what others have done to me;
    If I was wrong all along, once again;
    If this is something that I should leave behind;
    If no longer waiting and avoiding seeing a future I picture with you means missing something good;
    If this is something that is worth the time, even if it doesn’t work out in the end.

    Its not because I’m losing feelings for you… I’ve had them for a long time and it’d probably take longer for that to happen, it’s because I’m scared.

    A huge part of me still says absolutely keep it all in mind.
    A small part of me is starting to say to move on.

    I can’t really rush coming to a real answer and only time will be able to help me figure out what I’m honestly feeling.

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    3 Responses to Perhaps…

    1. .
      February 18, 2012 at 12:32 pm

      Feelings, the deeper – the more vulnerable they leave us, love, yes, it’s scary.

      Yet worth absofreakinglutely ever pain that may come along.

      No, not easy but what in life ever is.

      Wishing you the best in finding your answers!




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    2. Jaclynn J.
      February 19, 2012 at 12:11 am

      Aww you’re talking about feelings. Reread this. You’re masking any real feeling. Stop polluting this website with your bullshit.




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    3. Author
      February 21, 2012 at 12:48 am

      lmao… wow.. someone’s got some angst built up…

      You should pull the tampon out of your ass Jaclyn, you put it in the wrong hole!!




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