Maybe it’s not you I am missing…
It could easily be the ideas of who I thought you were combine with the idea of having someone.
It could just as easily be plain old you that I really do miss.
I’m so used to the first that I keep second guessing myself about the second.
I’m not sure anymore if my intuition was/is far more deceiving than it has ever been in my life;
if I’m seeing real reasons to walk away;
If I’m making up excuses based on what went wrong in past experiences;
If it actually was/is a gut feeling that you’re truly worth it, even though this one feels absolutely sure;
If the unsure feeling that has developed recently may just be my mind trying to push me away from you out of fear of what others have done to me;
If I was wrong all along, once again;
If this is something that I should leave behind;
If no longer waiting and avoiding seeing a future I picture with you means missing something good;
If this is something that is worth the time, even if it doesn’t work out in the end.
Its not because I’m losing feelings for you… I’ve had them for a long time and it’d probably take longer for that to happen, it’s because I’m scared.
A huge part of me still says absolutely keep it all in mind.
A small part of me is starting to say to move on.
I can’t really rush coming to a real answer and only time will be able to help me figure out what I’m honestly feeling.