• Destructive, True Love

    by  • February 18, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 1 Comment

    It hurts to think about how I started feeling about you once you were around all the time. I’ve gotten really good at blocking it out over the years. There are no instances I specifically remember that can fully describe why I love you because you were mine for only a short period of time. Some things about you also changed over the years so I guess you could say that I’ve loved two different people, maybe more.

    I love your confidence.
    Your smile knocks me down everytime.
    I think you’re funny as hell.
    You’re so smart and you genuinely care about people.
    You are a seeker, like me. When you know something is out there you don’t stop until you find it.
    I love your voice and how you talk to me. I love how committed you are.

    I love how over time, I could have anything I wanted from you.
    I love how you so freely and guarded give me your complete undivided attention.
    I love how you pick me everytime. I love how you protect the people I love.
    I love how you lie. You’re pretty good at it.
    I love how you want to live with me.
    I love how you take me seriously.
    I hate how much it hurts you.
    I hate how you don’t trust me. Some things are supposed to be private, you know that.
    I love how you express yourself.
    I wish you knew how much I really do love you.
    I wish you could find that confidence again.
    I wish you weren’t trying so hard.
    I wish you would tell me how you feel.
    I wish you would give freely.
    I love how you respect me.
    I love how completely in love and obsessed you are with me.
    I love making you wait.
    I hope it’s enough. I wish I knew what love was.

    I know that I miss you.
    I know that I when I go to bed at night, I wish you were there.
    I know that I want to wake up to you.
    I know that I think about you a lot.
    I love how calm I am when you’re around.
    I love how you absolutely adore me.
    I hate waiting for you.
    I hate how it’s not enough, I wish you would fight harder.
    I hate how part of me blames you.
    I hate myself for hurting you.
    I wish I wasn’t so confused.
    I wish I knew more about you.
    I pray that I can see you soon.

    One Response to Destructive, True Love

    1. T
      February 19, 2012 at 4:56 am

      I’ve always felt like I’ve just been waiting for a love like this, I find it and it turns out neither of us were ready for it because of other responsibilities and commitments. It is bittersweet indeed when you feel like you will always be waiting and dreaming… knowing they return the feelings but knowing they would never do it the wrong way… waiting for the right way but the timing never seems to line up. Weird right now how it feels closer to the right time now than ever before but it can’t happen if it would hurt those I love… he knows the ones I truly love.

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