• To my needy friend

    by  • February 17, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Buck up! • 0 Comments

    Can you please stop? You are driving me insane with your constant texts, IMs, and phone calls. I get that you have like two friends, but that is not my problem, and attaching yourself to me is not going to magically solve your social phobia. I’m no social butterfly either, but I don’t need constant company to get through the day.

    So instead of relying on me every single day, how about you grow up a little? You are a senior in college. We are not kids. I cannot be the cruise director for your life. I will not coddle you and I can’t deal with being your only form of socialization.

    You’re actually smothering me, overwhelming me with guilt-inducing conversation:

    Do you think I’m stupid?
    We need to do other things when we hang out.
    Lunch? Lunch? Lunch? Lunch?
    Call me when you’re free.
    Call me when you want to hang out.
    Hello? (and at this point I say hi back, and ask what’s up) Nothing.
    And all the comments on my statuses that do nothing to contribute to actual discussion.

    If you’re gonna keep starting dialogues with me, HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. I can’t be there all day every day to fill that void in your life.

    Please, cool your jets. We are not dating, and though I know you have a thing for me, I’ve never led you on, I’ve politely shut you down or changed the subject when you bring it up, I’ve tried to get away from you for a few days, but you don’t give up. I know you’ve never had a relationship before. And I’m honestly a little worried for how you’ll deal with one when you finally meet the right girl. But I know that girl isn’t me. Because you take and take from this friendship and give nothing but clinginess, guilt, and mindless conversation back to me.

    If you don’t get your act together soon, I’m going to have to end this friendship. Because it’s getting to the point where I’m getting little flashes of anxiety every time my phone rings.

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