• I’m so tired.

    by  • February 17, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 1 Comment

    I’m so tired of my life. I’m so tired of having no real friends. I’m so tired of feeling jealous of other people and the lives they live. I’m so tired of feeling alone. I’m so tired of being scared. I’m so tired of everything.

    My life lately has just become this one big drama fest. I’m so over it. I hate my job. I hate school. Everywhere I go I just feel so depressed leaving it. I don’t enjoy anything I do.

    Theres this guy. We used to be so close. Best friends. And then there was a new girl at work. Now shes the new me. They are so close. Best Friends. And I hate her for it. I hate him for it. He lies to me. Tonight when I told him that I was quitting his exact words were ‘ oh good now my boy j.d. can get a job ‘ EXCUSE ME? Screw you buddy. That is no way to treat a friend. I really felt and still feel like crying.

    I’m so jealous of everyone who has a perfect life, or a life that seems perfect. I’m just so angry at everyone and everything I just want to drive and drive and drive and never turn back around.

    I feel so alone. I have absolutely no one to talk to, so I write letters to the internet. Isn’t that pathetic. I have absolutely no one to talk to about anything. I’m so scared that I am going to live my life and end up alone forever.

    I’m so scared of everything. I’m scared of rejection. I’m scared that I will never lose enough weight to be ‘pretty’ I’m scared that I’m going to die alone. I’m scared that I won’t be able to join the military. I’m scared of everything and I hate it.

    I’m so tired of my life. I feel like just sitting down and crying. I want to hit someone and I want to hit them hard. I’m so bored in this town, with my ‘friends’ and my stupid job, and my stupid boss. I hate everything.

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    One Response to I’m so tired.

    1. L
      February 18, 2012 at 2:04 am

      1. You ARE pretty. Because beauty comes from the inside, and no amount of weight lost will make you any prettier. And you clearly are beautiful on the inside.
      2. You have shitty friends. When I first moved to where I am now, I had shitty friends. Don’t let them get you down. Yes, it feels so lonely when you have shitty friends who you can’t depend on for any emotional support. I’d try joining Meetups to find some new friends. There ARE good people out there!
      3. You’re not pathetic. Anyone who says they’ve never felt alone or scared of being rejected or hurt by friends is probably lying. Sometimes anonymity on the internet is the safest way to get all the feelings out πŸ™‚
      4. Sit down and cry for a while. Then go find yourself some better friends! People you can depend on and who are kind to you. Don’t put up with crappy friends when you really need good friends.

      I’ll be praying for you, that God will put some great friends in your life πŸ™‚ I don’t know about you, but I believe that God really listens to and answers our prayers. I know He’ll come through for you πŸ™‚ And maybe you can turn to him for a shoulder to cry on in the meantime? He’s gotten me through some terrible times when I felt just the way you describe.



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