• i just miss you a lot.

    by  • February 17, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 1 Comment

    i miss you.
    i really do. and i feel like i should tell you that. so i guess that’s what i’m doing. i’m pretty sure i’m too dependent on you. and i’m not particularly happy about the fact that i haven’t talked to you in so long. but it’s okay, because i’m also pretty sure that it’s better that i learn how to be more independent. i think it’s just hard for me that i don’t really have anyone to tell about all the stupid little things that happen in my daily life. nobody else really cares. and i like to pretend someone cares about those things other than me. and you usually do a good job at pretending to be interested. i’ve always appreciated that. i guess i don’t ever really tell you that i appreciate you. but i’d hope that you’d realized that by now. but i don’t blame you if you haven’t. i try to act like i don’t need anyone. when really, i do. so thanks and stuff for being a great person and all. i think that right now i’m not what you might call happy, but i’m fine. and i know it’s only really been a week since we’ve talked and all but a lot of stuff happens in a week and i end up bottling a lot of stuff up inside myself. which is not too great for a person, i hear. and so i’ve realized how important you seem to be in my daily life because i think you help me manage my stress levels. i have a lot of stress. i think i’m rambling about a lot of irrelevant and unimportant things, and i know it’s probably like a big overload and stuff but i really need to get it out somehow. i just miss rambling to you via text-massage. i just like to ramble, basically. so yeah, i just miss talking to you and stuff. and i think that i care about a lot of stupid things. like you. lol did you catch that, i just inferred that you were stupid. ha, but you’re not. but anyway i was realizing this the other day. well actually i realized it a long time ago, but i am now deciding to share this with you. so i have this habit of caring about a lot of things, and they’re always just strange things. but i never really care about myself. but anyway i think that it’s not good for me. and like, i care a lot all the time. but the thing is when you say that you don’t care about anything, i really hope that you don’t mean it because then it makes me feel like you don’t care about me. which i knowww is stupid and selfish to expect that you might care about me, since i’m so weird. but still it saddens me. and that’s why i try so adamantly to prove to you that you do care about some things. i mean, i actually know that you care about quite a few things, whether it be soccer or the way your parents treat you or whatever. but that’s beside the point i’m making. i just feel that in the time that we haven’t talked, you seem to be fine. which made me come to the conclusion that maybe you actually really don’t care about anything including myself. and since i don’t care about myself, why should i expect you to, but it’s just nice to think that you do. but so anyway, i guess i’ve been a little bit upset. which is dumb. but whatever. i just don’t like being less than happy. it sucks. and i really don’t expect you to care about this letter of sorts, so don’t feel obligated to bring it up ever. seriously don’t, if you can help it. i just kind of wanted to say that. i’ve just not had anyone to talk to for what seems like a very long time and since i trust you and stuff, i just wanted to tell you. i don’t like telling other people about my feelings, i like to give the impression that i have none. it’s a lot simpler that way. sorry you have ever had to deal with me. i know i’m kind of difficult. or.. really difficult. i feel like i probably suffer from insanity because i wrote this. i don’t know though, i’m glad i did. and i know it’s not particularly articulate either, i just wanted to get it all down quickly. and now i can’t imagine what you probably think of me after reading this. all i know is that i miss talking to you, and you probably haven’t had such dramatic emotions about not talking as i have, buuut i’m a girl. pretty sure i’m rambling a little too much. just you know, get ahold of me when you feel like you need to. don’t feel like you have to, though. i feel like i might be coming across as manipulative right now. i don’t want to come across as that. just do whatever pleases you. i’ll see you around, regardless.

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    One Response to i just miss you a lot.

    1. M
      February 19, 2012 at 8:05 am

      🙁
      Can we talk ’cause I miss him as well and it seems like we are on the same boat.
      Till then,
      take care.




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