You raped her. Why did I let you talk me into believing you didn’t? Oh my God, I’m such an idiot. I’m so, so tired of you playing mind games. They’re not even mind games either, you don’t care enough for them to be. You just do whatever the hell you want, don’t you? You can’t be in my life. I go crazy when you’re around.
I lied to my friends, they think we don’t talk anymore. My heart is breaking, because I have no one to talk to when you screw me over. Like last week, when you finally showed some sort of compassion and interest. You forgot about that, I know. You were too drunk to remember. That’s it. You need to be drunk in order to actually give any sort of shit.
Why do I waste my time like this? I hate my brain. There is no plausible reason for me to be in love with you. The costs completely outweigh the benefits. So why can’t I just get over it and kick you out of my life? Why do I keep texting you back? You don’t even like me back anymore. It makes no sense. I hate this so much.