This is in defense of the “friend zoners.” The people that I myself hate and have been broken by, and the one I have become.
He was perfect for me. We were similar in so many ways and became friends so easily. Everyone told us we’d be adorable together and tried to set us up.
And no one can tell me I did not try. I’d finally found the sweetest, smartest, funniest, weirdest guy who had genuine feelings for me…and I could not like him. I tried. I’d read his words like Shakespeare and reflect on all the nice things he said to me, and feel warm and excited, then feel all of those things simply drain away when I would see him the next day. I simply did not and could not like him as anything more than a friend.
Believe me, I did not like him any more when he would not give up or take a hint. When I could not be alone after school, or online, without being followed and talked to and chatted- things which may seem minor, but make a social phobic like myself feel trapped. He constantly tried to make eye contact, laughed at everything I said, followed my friends, sat at our table, asked me about everything on my online profile…it was like the paparazzi.
And this made me hate him, but myself even more so. I felt stalked, trapped and frustrated. No one would listen to my explanations, and scorned me for complaining about someone liking me like some awful, typical teenage girl. I felt selfish and spoiled and I pitied this poor boy, but I could not bring myself to live a lie.
He still has not given up, and has hinted that he would like to take me to the upcoming dance.
So, yes, I am going to “friend zone” him, if even that. He was once a friend, and I remain friendly to him, but I cannot be much more to a man I cannot respect, which I most certainly don’t.
So, if anyone is reading this and they have complained about getting friend zoned, consider that the fault may not be entirely theirs, and for God’s sake, just leave it alone already. For my sake…