There’s probably no chance of you ever ever reading this but i had to get this out of my system. It’s been almost a year and half since we last spoke. I remember that day like it was yesterday and when i think about it, it breaks my heart. So many things left unsaid, so many words i wanted to say, and so many regrets till this day. It was November when we stopped talking, exactly the 10th. It’s sad i still remember the exact time of that day that our last conversation had taken place and exactly what i was doing. I was at work. You were moving on. I’m sorry i put other things before you. I had school and work but you should have been my number one priority, but thus it’s too late. You are with your new boyfriend from what i saw on your profile and statuses. I’m happy for you, i really am even though it breaks my heart every morning when i wake up and think of you and every night before i go to bed, i think of you. It’s actually really sad that it’s been exactly a year and 3 months and i’m STILL trying to get over you. I hope he treats you like a queen because you deserve it for everything I put you through. I hope he tells you every day that you are beautiful, cause you are…inside and out. I hope he drive you places and shows you things and places you’ve never seen. I hope he takes you to the beach, because i know you love the beach even though you have to drive 3 hours to it. I hope he listens to your random stories about turtles and rocks and how you dream of cats with thumbs. I hope he takes you out to dinner at least twice a week and a movie at least once a month. I hope he knows he’s a lucky dude to have such an amazing soul like you. You really gave me the world and i just threw it away. I made you wait for me and gave you reasons why i couldn’t see you. We had an amazing 2 years of knowing each other and finding out every little thing about each other. Our little inside jokes and words are embedded in my heart. When i say everything still reminds me of you, it’s really true. Everything from types of candy to cars, everything. Every time i see a car from maryland, i still look to see who is in the car cause if by chance it you. I let you down way too many times, and i deserve to hurt like this. I’m happy you moved on and let go of me. I wish i could do the same, hopefully sooner than later. There have been many girls who have tried to take your place, all of them have failed eventually. You set such high standards in how the perfect girlfriend should be and i have yet to find a girl who meets any of those standards. The more girls i meet the more i find myself running back to you. I’ve finally given up looking and i’m just focusing on me. My heart is breaking and has been for over a year. I want this feeling to go away and i want to hear your favorite songs and not want to smash my radio. How did it only take you two weeks to move on from me? Did everything we have just go away like a fart in the wind? Did you really just get over me because you started dating another guy? I’m glad he helped you move on from me, i basically pushed you right into his arms, and that blows. There’s so much i want to say but i have no words to say. We were amazing together. We were like twins. Literally so in touch with each other despite the 400 miles between us. I’m sorry i didn’t put you first. I’m sorry that day we argued i held my pride, when i should have been there holding you. I was at work that day, stormed with a bunch of work and i took my aggression out on you, when you only wanted me to focus on you, focus on us, but instead i was a jackass to you and when you told me to never talk to you again….i was too stubborn to talk to you again. I regret that so much, but two weeks later you replaced me so i had no time to even do anything. two weeks, two fucking weeks it took for you to forget me….and still a year and three months later i’m still hurting. Maybe i’ll hurt for a few years, maybe forever. I really hope i find the same happiness you have in your SO. I really hope i can find a nice girl who i can bring home to my mother. Loneliness sucks. I brought it on myself so i’m not pointing my finger but it only took you such a short time for us being so close to get over me and till this day i don’t know how you did it. So many words left unsaid that if i got the chance to pour my heart out to you, it would take weeks for me explain how i’ve felt the past year and three months. I’ve grown a lot, and i’ve learned a lot this past year. I’m not the same guy you knew, but you probably wouldn’t believe me if i told you. We are two totally different people now. You aren’t 19 anymore, you’re 23 now. Sadly, i still remember your birthday. I still remember so much that i want to forget everything. I want to forget you, and move on just like you have done for the past year. I want to forget your smile, your laugh, your voice….everything…because it’s doing me no good. I guess in a way, my horrible choice made you a happier woman in the end. So i’m glad you’re happy because when you love someone their happiness is more important than yours, right?