Maybe one day you’ll start using the internet. When that day comes, hopefully you’ll read this because I’d like you to know how much I enjoyed having you in my life for the short time you were and why it’s not you, it’s me. Even though you’re the one who pulled away.
The day I met you I was instantly attracted to you and that doesn’t happen often so I was intrigued by you. It was exciting to have that feeling but you had your guard up the entire time and it was challenging to get to know you. I’m at a place in life where it’s just not good enough, regardless of circumstances. I realize I don’t know the real “you.” If it was you I met a long time ago you know where then that’s crazy. I was so drunk you could have been anyone. If I wasn’t so completely in love with someone else then I think it would have been interesting to get to know you. It takes time for love to grow and with us it’s a clean slate but I have another part of me that has stood the test of time and it’s electrifying.
You can’t compare the two but that may have been part of the reason why I was closed off or you were or why it just didn’t work out. It was difficult to truly connect with you and for whatever reason, it’s probably for the best. He’s everything I want and I can’t impose the connection I have with him on you. Even though, that’s who I really am. I don’t want to mold someone. I’m finished trying to convince people that I’m good enough. It’s just not worth it. I can see what I did to him being with you and it destroyed me once I realized. I was completely oblivious to his commitment to me. He hasn’t, can’t or won’t talk to me but it’s still worth it to me to just move on and try to figure this out on my own. You really are everything I want, please understand that. I think you are amazing. But he is more important to me. I’m confident we’ll work things out and if we don’t then I’ll find you again someday. You’re so sexy. Stop wearing flannel, today.