I hate the fact that I’m such a creature of habit. I’ve kissed two boys in my 18 years of life, and those are the two boys my mind always travels back to.
I have a problem with familiarity. Since I already know these boys so well, and they already know me so well, it is very hard for me to move on. I know what to expect, it’s simple, easy.
I didn’t hook up with them in the same time frame or anything, I’m not that girl. And I never did more than make out with them. It kind of scares me, what going to happen when I lose my virginity? Will I become completely and totally obsessed with the guy? This is gonna sound sad but it makes me wanna stay a virgin forever.
Both guys tried to do more with me. One more so than the other, he was kind of an ass about it. But I wasn’t ready any of the times, and I have no problem with the word “no”. My body, my rules.
I don’t know, I guess I just want to move on. I don’t think either of these guys are the one. I know there’s someone better out there. But what if I’m too scared to find him? Or when I do find him, what if I’m too scared to be myself? Future freaks me out, I guess I’ll add that to my list.