• I think I miss you…

    by  • February 14, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Yearning • 1 Comment

    So. I think I miss you. But I shouldn’t. I REALLY shouldn’t. I mean, you were absolutely horrible to me. You used me, lied to me, and left me. I have cried over you for nine months now, and I know that I don’t even cross your mind once a week. Everything reminds me of you. A song on the radio, something someone says, a movie. But the worst part is, is that you made me feel things I had never felt before. I had never been so happy, confident, and secure in my entire life. You made me feel like I belonged in the world, that I was worth something, that what others had thought of me or made me feel in the past no longer mattered. I think I might have loved you, but I can’t be sure.

    I want to see you. I don’t want to see you. I want to be close to you again, but then again I don’t. I wish I could honestly say I want my best friend back, but I don’t think I could do that after what happened.

    But mostly…

    I want to be CURED. I never want to think about you ever again. I don’t want to care about you. I don’t want to be jealous of her. I don’t want to live with the pain of knowing I wasn’t enough for not only every other man I have ever been close to, but the only boy I have EVER completely surrendered to.

    Come back to me, but don’t…

    One Response to I think I miss you…

    1. sarah
      February 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm

      i know exactly what this feels like. living it right now.

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