• Dear Angelus,

    by  • February 14, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 2 Comments

    I’m going to get over you.
    No matter what it takes.

    The first step?
    I’m done with LINS… It just makes me hope that the letters are from you. Every I love you I read, I imagine it’s you.

    I don’t care what it takes.
    Last night, after we talked, for what will be the last time, I cut.
    I told myself it would just be one cut, on one leg.
    About 12 cuts later, my legs were stinging and I was smiling.

    They still hurt this morning.

    You’re always in the back of my mind, and it always hurts.. So do these cuts.
    And when they stop hurting, but you keep hurting, I will just add more cuts, until I can associate you with physical pain. Pavlov Response.

    But what’s weird?
    I don’t really feel bad or guilty for cutting.
    I’m just focused on not letting anybody seeing.


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    2 Responses to Dear Angelus,

    1. Ann
      February 14, 2012 at 11:15 pm

      I understand what you are going through. I’ve been heartbroken, and I cut myself…alot. I just wanted to let you know that this person doesn’t deserve you. And I don’t know who you are, but we are not alone because we have eachother…I love you…


    2. Ash
      February 15, 2012 at 4:36 am

      Oh J….

      I’m sorry. I know you are dealing with a lot of pain…so am I now that the person that I messaged with last night…well I know it will be the last time and it kills…

      I feel my pain. I can only imagine yours. You should keep writing it out. Wish you weren’t leaving, but try and find some way…someway to get out how you feel in substitute for cutting. I know I’ve never met you, but I do care about you and what happens to you. 2011 was the worst year for me. I want 2012 to be a year that we both can hope that things will get better.

      Things will get better. I promise. I don’t know when or how, but they will. I wish you would stay on here. I will miss you. Even though I don’t even know you outside of here.




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