Today we went to the aquarium. Not just us, of course. There were other people there: Friends, co-workers, acquaintances. But a part of me wished it was just us.
This was my first time at the aquarium. As we stood in front of the first display, you made a comment about the glass. How it magnifies the fish and makes them look bigger than they actually are. It’s an interesting concept, about how glass can make something appear different than it actually is.
Then it hits me. I’ve been looking at this entire day as if I’m staring through aquarium glass. I had high hopes coming into today. I hoped that you would finally see me. Not as this older sister figure, but as a person that you could have potential with. I wanted you to realize that I’m a catch, and that you would be lucky to be with me. I had all of these dreams and fantasies about this day.
But once I jumped into the water and really saw what was on the other side of that glass, here’s what I could see.
You, my good friend, do not like me in that way. You will never like me in that way, simply because I am not what you are looking for right now. In four short months, I will be moving across the country, and while I hope we will talk, we probably won’t. You don’t want something temporary; you want something permanent, and I can’t be that something. Also, we are not compatible at the moment. You see, we are in different life places right now. I’m about to graduate and move on from the college world while you are just getting into the best times of your college experience, and you deserve to do that with someone who’s at your same level. Just as when I settle down somewhere new, I will find someone who is at my same level. We can’t be together. We were never going to be together.
But I can’t help but think that one day you will look back and see me. Not as the senior who was like an older sister to you but as me. You’ll see the good; you’ll see the bad; and hopefully, you’ll realize the mistake you made by never giving me a chance and seeing who I was on the other side of my aquarium glass.