• shit.

    by  • February 12, 2012 • Hope • 1 Comment

    I think I’m starting to lose some sight in my right eye…
    I’m 22 years old…
    and I’m an artist…

    My dream/goal has been to graduate art school with a BFA, probably MFA later on, and become a graphic designer for the music and/or movie industry. I’ve longed for this ever since I bought my first CD back around age 8 or 9 and realized how drawn to the cd booklet and inlay I was- even as such a young tyke, art was always my first love- Aesthetics are my favorite thing in life, good or bad. I still prefer CD’s over MP3’s; I just don’t get the same satisfaction with a small JPEG of the front cover of the CD… I want to see more, I want to see the creativity behind the artwork… I want to see how this band and their music can be represented visually… I want to see what new and old techniques are applied to different bands or artists, and how it does or does not relate to their genre’s typical visual portrayal or crosses over into other realms, how far did the artist push the limits with visual overload or minimalism, how many pages did they need to use, which ones have lyrics and which ones don’t, what colors and fonts did they choose, did they use photography, drawing, something else? …and so so so many more questions.

    Must seem like sort of a strange subject to be so passionate about, but the idea it just makes my heart race and want to get moving. I can still remember, so vividly, that moment unwrapping the CD and taking out the booklet.

    This is just one of the numerous health complications that have been arising for me over the past year-ish.

    FUCK my life.

    A girl can dream, can’t she?

    But I can’t let this stop me… I WON’T’ stop until it stops me dead in my tracks, itself… if it ever does get the chance.

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    One Response to shit.

    1. Anonymous
      April 11, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      Hi there.

      Although I may not understand exactly what your situation is, I’d like to point out that we have quite a bit in common.

      I’m also a visual artist, and I swear I have been for all eighteen years of my life.

      However, I’m also completely blind in my right eye. I lost all vision in my eye due to a condition called “Retinal Detachment” at birth.

      Being blind in one eye hasn’t stopped me from drawing or pursuing a career in a creative field. But, let me tell you, the scariest part about being blind on one eye is living in constant fear that something will happen to the other one. It scares the absolute fucking SHIT out of me.

      Not only because it would mean going into a new world where hearing and touch are your new eyes, but because, if something were to go wrong with my left eye, I will never be able to draw again. It’s been such a big part of my life, and to wake up one day and have that suddenly ripped away would take me to a very dark place that I’m not sure I would have the strength return from.

      But it hasn’t happened yet.

      Look, life is shitty. People are shitty. And sometimes, you can’t control OR prepare for it. But you still have the gift of life, and vision, and artistic talent. So use it. Use all of it. No matter how scared you are, or whatever any dickbag says, DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND RUN WITH IT. Don’t ever let fear stop you. Don’t let you stop yourself from enjoying every moment you have on this fucking planet.

      A lot will happen in the next 10 years of your life. Some will be good, some will be bad. But don’t fear it. I know it’s scary, but don’t let it consume you. Best of luck to you.



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