• Damn It Mom!

    by  • February 12, 2012 • Parents • 0 Comments

    I hate being the youngest and last one at home because I feel so guilty leaving you behind. You are in a horrible marriage and you refuse to get out and I watch as you wallow in your misery every damn day. You act like it doesn’t bother you but I know it is killing you on the inside. He is not going to change, he is a fucking alcoholic – always has been and always will be. Please get it together, WAKE UP! You have always told me to do what makes me happy..why wont you listen to yourself? Why are you so scared of leaving?? You will be so much better off without him. I am never home and when I do come home its so fucking awkward because half the time the two of you are arguing or not even talking at all. I don’t want to leave you alone and I hate leaving you here with him but I have my own life, I can’t keep watching over you and worrying about you. I need you to be strong and do what is best for you. You keep telling me things will get better and maybe one day you’ll get out of this shit hole that you’re in but you’re just feeding yourself lies. The situation isn’t going to get better. He doesn’t help you around the house, doesn’t help pay bills or care that you are in debt. All he fucking cares about is drinking and smoking. I hope he drowns his liver in alcohol and his lungs in smoke. I watch him stumble in the house, driving home drunk once again, and you act like its not a big deal. FUCK HIM, please move on. You have started from the bottom up before you can do it again if you have to. One day he is going to kill someone or himself driving drunk and you know its almost a sense of relief thinking about it. As horrible as that sounds its the painful truth – I think I hate him more than I hate my dad and that’s saying a lot. Please be strong mom..open your eyes and better your life. I won’t be here forever and I hate seeing you miserable. I can’t leave without feeling guilty and blaming myself when this situation is out of my hands. Take your own advice and do whats best for you, whatever makes you happy. I know it’s not this. I love you and I always will.

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