I’m going to make as much money as possible after I complete my certification test in a week or so, and instead of paying off my student loans I got suckered into by people looking to make a commission or paying taxes to a government that is murdering children, women, and men for no true reason other than political motivation or bloodlust and is martyring the brave, Good men who willingly enlist to protect the basic precepts of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness this country potentially represents. When the creditors call, I’ll play their harassment games humbly to the point where they cross a legal line and I’ll sue them for the worth of their entire company and more. All the money I make will go to me, my family, and everyone I meet walking down the sidewalk until I go broke again and again. Don’t believe me? Join the club of all the people who have doubted me throughout my life; you can all pat each other on the backs and make noises until you realize you don’t know what your own laughter feels like and how your voice meant to sound while it’s happening.
If I succeed, then great! I’ve made my life a little brighter by seeing joy on my loved ones’ faces. If I only have a dollar to my name, then I’m no worse off than I am now. If I lose everything I earn by hard work, then at least I’ll be too exhausted from trying to cry myself to sleep. If I alienate myself from people who choose to judge rather than care enough about themselves and another human being to make and keep a unique friendship then I’m not really the one missing out. This life is mine, and looking around at people’s hopeless faces everyday, I’m beginning to think I’m the only one left in the World who has positive aspirations; making me the only one left with enough drive to make this world mine… not for myself, but for all you women and men who are slaves to the lies you were told by the televisions and radios and wine bottles and “illegal” or “narcotic” substances that were prescribed to fix you. There are kids who are medicated to the point where they can’t do anything but focus on the lessons their text books are instilling in them because they’re on meth pills. Then they get addicted to the feeling of having anything or anyone do the thinking and learning for them.
We’re not just a nation raised into adults who are too desensitized to go to bed at night and dream, but this entire world is losing its purpose. We’ll be extinct long before the sun explodes or the bombs drop or the aliens come or whatever bulloney apocalyptic story you were told. It’ll be like nazi zombies, except nobody will fight the sickness because they’re already dead inside. The American Dream was never about a picket fence and a job that helps you look good to other people, it’s about choosing to fight and love and believe in something enough to pursue it to the end and then find something else equally as motivating to push yourself to another end, just to find out how much a human spirit can overcome without stepping on another person’s shoes along the way.
And for the record, that’s not just an American Dream, that’s a global movement we all have the ability and innate understanding to set into motion. Not in the future, not in the past with the Revolutionary War, but in every single second of every single day you should be brave enough to know what it is you are lacking and courageous enough to either attain or die seeking… although the “die seeking” part is a bit melodramatic, since I know from personal experience, there is only one thing potent enough to kill a person’s heart… a self-dug grave and a tombstone nobody cared enough to mark.
Apathy will not be the death of all of us, because some people are just too addicted to a virtual existence to ever hit the off button, but it will be the one force that removes all hope of a united community of individuals who are not like minded but are drawn together nonetheless, magnetically…
One day the tomb for the unnamed soldier will be opened and inside will be a little girl who is the only one left dreaming in a world where all the facts and signs point to her only respite being eternal sleep… she won’t have been lovingly remembered by parents and teachers and news crews… there won’t be any movies made commemorating her selfless actions… no songs will be sung about her, except to demonize her for being different… no princes in shining armor will give her ponies for christmas… no wars will be fought to make up for all the tears she had to catch for herself… there will be nobody to blame, because we’ll all be guilty.
so back to my point, i’m going to do my thing and try to be a catalyst for some kind of positive change in the world. not just on one day, but every day for the rest of my life no matter how long or short it is. the only thing stopping me is that i have nothing to give at the moment… so i gotta get back to studying (at 2 am in the morning, when most people are either asleep or drinking until they sober up). rather than have people comment on this about me, how about you ladies and gentlemen share your goals that you’re actively pursuing and how your plans can help (not you) but everyone else first and you last. or maybe share a dream you had last night. or a joke that made you laugh. something, to prove to me that you’re all worth praying for and hoping for and caring about. because these self-created relationship problems you all whine about are getting old. if you have a crush, tell the person. if you’re in love, then just be in love in every way physically and emotionally possible. if you’re gay tell your family, tell the whole world, tell a priest, whatever just get it off your chest. or you can leave a comment telling me i’m lame and crazy, because i could probably get a kick out of seeing that… mainly because if you made it to the last option that means you’re one of the few people who care enough to have read the entirely of my rambling tirade.