• Dear “Stranger”

    by  • February 10, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    Dear “stranger”,

    It’s sad that i call you a “stranger” now, when i never thought it’d come to this. It’s been over seven months sense we’ve talked, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where i haven’t thought about you. At first i didn’t think i was going to be able to make it through, i not only felt like i lost my best friend, and my other half, but my everything. I gained and lost several friends from being with you, but none of that mattered, only you. I spent three remarkable summers with you, and years i wish i could forget. I never thought i would of spent this christmas or new years with out you. This valentine’s day is going to be hard too. I remember you sneaking over at night trying to give me my gift because it had to be at twelve. This has been my first year alone, and i lost track of how many dreams i’ve had of you. It’s crazy to think that i can remember the first time you kissed me you wore that orange sweatshirt, and i was so nervous, and how three years later i got the same butterfly feeling when you just held my hand. You’ll never understand how much i would’ve done for you, or how much i loved you. You moved on and found someone else now, but i’ll always be your first love that no one can replace. What scares me the most is i’m scared to love again. it’s the best feeling in the world, and i wish i could explain in detail how truly amazing it was. The only problem is that i’m so unbelievably scared to meet someone new, and fall in love, with someone thats not you. You knew my flaws, you knew my what made me smile, or what broke me down. You knew me inside and out, and now someone else is going to learn those things about me. The only question i have is if you ever think about me? Or ever wonder how i’m doing? The questions haunts me, also haunts me knowing i let you walk all over me as many times as you did. I let you go because it was right, and what i had to do, but theres not a day that goes by where i don’t feel like maybe what if she didn’t give up on me. When i left you should’ve fought for me, when i left you should’ve proved to me how much you loved me. The first month i didn’t do much but cry over you, the second month the dreams still came, the third i was still numb, the fourth felt like it wasn’t real, the fifth felt like when is she coming back? the sixth i cried less BUT i still had hope, and now the seventh feels like i’m back to month one, spending my days wondering what if or when am i going to wake up from this nightmare. This past year has been a nightmare, and the fact that you’ve done everything thats proven you don’t love me anymore should make this easier, but instead it makes this harder. Harder because at one point i looked at you with such a big heart, looked at you as if you where the only person in the world that mattered, someone i would’ve done anything for, and now i don’t no who you are, or where that girl went, but your gone, you couldn’t be any more gone. Thank you for all those years we spent together, but thank you for making us a love experience i’m slowly healing from, but sadly cant forget. I wish everyday i could forget you, and all the things you’ve done, but i cant. Remember it was you who lost me, it was you who didn’t fight for me. I graduate this year,and i’ll be in the real world, but i pray that one day our love is strong enough to come back. I pray. Wether its a year from now, or five, nothing can replace your first love. You taught me that.

    Dear stranger, thank you for making yourself a stranger.

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