I’ve tried, and tried and tried to get you back. It’s been three weeks and I’ve tried everything. You’ve decided though that our relationship was better a learning experience than an everlasting bond. I guess I can’t blame you, I mean I am a bit crazy.
Today I let go. I can’t do it anymore I can’t think about what I did wrong, how I could have prevented you from wanting more. I did everything for you, and I know the sex was great- so don’t try that. I kept thinking I wasn’t enough, that I had to be more- I had to be there, I almost transferred for you. I spent countless dollars on coming to see you at OUR apartment, the one we picked out together. Our friends have chosen your side due to location even though they all know I’m right. It’s over and I wouldn’t accept it.
Today, I do. Today I realize that I’m pretty great other than my love for cats that burns a bit too strong. I like video games, I love sex, I love to give back massages and make food. I’m perfect, and I’m realizing it. I’m seeing that it’s not me IT’S YOU.
So, I’m gonna move on, and it’s going to be hard. Maybe I’ll find someone who wants to go on hikes with me, who will read poetry (or even just a fucking book). Someone who appreciates that I’m going to be a wonderful wife and mother and that I think about how great having a family will be in my spare time.
I’m going to find better. Even if you’re the only person who ever called me “Beautiful” as a nick name, I will find someone who wants to love me, for me. Who will love that I like to smoke weed naked as much as you did, and someone who loves how happy I am.
So fuck you. I had fun, and I had a horrible time this last couple of weeks replaying every moment. I hope my next love will drink good beer and play Scrabble with me, because you never fucking could. And maybe my next love won’t get too drunk and piss on the floor or be so bad at oral, ya I said it. So fuck you.