• To My First Love

    by  • February 9, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    Dear J,

    It has come to my attention that I’ve never felt like I do when I’m with you. That sense of sure safety, the knowledge that this isn’t a fickle relationship. I came to know you as a friend, and loved you even then. As we grew older (and in some ways, younger), you came around and your feelings of attraction and admiration turned to ones of respect and trust. Then came the comfort and passion of love.

    God, we’re so young. We’re still only in high school. I’m looking at myself and mocking me for being foolish enough to believe that we have a chance at making this last. I’m on the internet, and I see pictures that say “Love means forever”. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. But I love you right now, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon, so isn’t that what matters? You make me forget about my family. You make me forget that I’ve been in hospitals. You make me feel alive when all I want is to be dead. That means so much to me.

    I’m not going to leave you like your father did. I promise I’ll never play stupid games with your heart, and I’ll never call you stupid or do anything more but my playful teasing. If we ever end up living together, I promise to never get mad at you, should you leave the toilet seat up or forget to change the paper towels after you use the last one. I promise I’ll listen to you when you complain about work, and give you neck massages when you’re stressed.

    Just promise me that you’ll never hit me like my father does. Promise me you won’t give up.

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