I have not felt the feeling of being comfortable in almost a year. I have been in pain every single day. Every time of the day. Pain wakes me up in the morning and keeps me up at night. It took the place of things I used to feel. I used to feel relaxed, attractive, and creative, social. A lot of times it hurts so bad that all I can do is stare off in some straining position because acknowledging the level of pain BLOWS MY MIND.
My body now feels like my old body when I would experience something momentarily frightening and stressful to the point of physical and cognitive impairment. I miss the days I thought I was going to die after sleeping the wrong way one night. Or thinking having 1 or 2 or 3…. knots was painful.
If I press on any point in any of my shoulder, neck, upper and lower back it feels as sore and tight as a bad knot. Ropes of knots. That’s what I am now. This would happen to me.
Also, I can’t really breathe.
And almost every bone hurts too, except toes. Yet.
That basically sums it up!