Love is not selfish. That is something that I learned today. I want to be the best kind of woman and I think what God is teaching me that real love does not think about it’s own benefits and how good it would feel. No love thinks about someone else at all times and what good they can show to someone else the rest of their days.
I also learned that love is patient. If love isn’t at my door today then I can keep hoping that someday it will come along. I can remember that I don’t need love. But I do need to show it to other people. I don’t want to run away from love anymore. I want to open up my heart to loving other people… realizing that that is why God put me here on this planet anyway.
I don’t necessarily need a man to make me feel whole. I need God to make me feel whole. I first need to discover what it is that I want… who I am. I am loved. I am loved by my family. I am loved by my friends. I am loved by God. I love myself. I love other people. I do have love. How could I forget this very important factor. Why do I always have to feel dissatisfied with where I’m at. Right here is where I want to be. I want to show love. I want to give love. I want to do what God created me to do. Note to self. Don’t ever forget that.
What do I want. Someday I want a man who is faithful to only me. I want to be faithful to him. Someday I want a man who loves God with all his heart. Someday I want to live in a cozy little home, it doesn’t have to be big. But for now I’ll just learn to love and to accept the love that is already given and that I can show. Sometimes I forget that this life isn’t about me. It’s about others. That’s what love really is about after all.
The battle of what I want has come to an end. For once I want love to be right where it needs to be. In my heart. Why run. I have so much to give to others by working hard, through my music, and through everything else… for other people. For a few months I don’t think I really did know what I wanted out of love and I searched for it. What I found was answers in my heart.
If I can never decide on what I want then it’s clear as day that it’s not it. He is not it. If he is emotionally abusive then that is not what I want. I say goodbye. If he clearly has someone else than that is the reason that I think so much. That is not what I want. I say goodbye. If he never shows up or states that he loves me but never shows it through actual actions then he is not it. That is not what I want. I say goodbye.
I want someone who is honest, faithful, passionate about life, doesn’t have to hide his true feelings or himself from me, and can prove that he is always going to be there no matter what. I will settle for nothing less than that. Oh and of course someone who is musically inclined. It’s my weakness above anything else.
Moving forward in love,