I need an unbiased opinion. I’ve tried talking to my friends, to my family, and to my boyfriend, but everyone is taking sides. I don’t want this, and I don’t know what else to do. Here’s the scoop:
My best friend (of 7 years) and I were out to dinner with four other people. I had already eaten before going, but preceded to order a small appetizer for myself. When we were discussing what we were all going to eat, my friend started telling me that I never eat and that one meal a day isn’t enough. I don’t know where this came from, but I was so embarrassed. I mean, I guess I could interpret it as caring if she hadn’t been so rude about it. I felt like everyone was attacking me about a non-existent problem. I left after I finished my meal rather than hanging out with that group for the rest of the night.
About the same time of month, I started dating this guy. He’s far from perfect, but he’s trying really hard to set his life straight. Everyone is judging him (including my best friend) because of who they think he is. He has tattoos, he smokes weed occasionally, and drinks occasionally with friends. He knows that I don’t want to get involved with weed and understands that. He doesn’t pressure me to do anything that I don’t want to do.
Here’s my problem. After that dinner, I was really upset. I’ve been skinny my whole life and always eat when I’m hungry. The accusation really hurt me to the point where I would think about it constantly. I know I’m skinny, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Anyway, she apologized saying that she didn’t mean that I had an eating disorder (as I interpreted it), but still that “one meal a day is not enough and you need to eat more because it’s not healthy”.
Another kick in the stomach, but I tried to ignore it. We hung out one more time. She started talking crap about my boyfriend and his friends (who are also my friends) and just being negative about everything. I wasn’t having a good time and remained relatively quite the whole night. Next thing I know, she’s mad at me because ‘I’ve changed’ since I started dating my boyfriend and she doesn’t like the changes. I tried to get them to be friends but she judged him before she even got to know him. She’s blaming me for letting him ruin our friendship, when she never even gave him a chance. If anything, the only reason I changed was because of that dinner. I can’t even begin to describe how hurt I was that my best friend would accuse me of starving myself.
My problem now is that my friend won’t talk to me. She ignores me at work. She told me we’re not friends and that I need to grow up. ????? I feel like I should be the one that is upset…? I don’t understand where this all spun around, where I’m not the victim.
My question is, am I being stupid? Is this whole thing worth losing a 7 year friendship? Should I remain friends with someone who makes me feel like crap or should I continue this relationship with a guy that makes me happy and tries to better himself?