I know you will never read this, and if you do you will roll your eyes, and think of how dumb I sound, but I really don’t care. I just don’t understand how one person can affect your life so much. Its been over a year, and I literally cannot get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I had a dream last night that I was trying to get your attention so badly, but you just wouldn’t stop long enough to figure out why I was crying. You were concerned, but it just didn’t matter. Well, that dream was basically my reality. I have tried so hard to make things right between us, and I have begged you numerous times to give me another chance. I have tried to get you to see how completely different I am now. But, you continue to hide how you truly feel, and shove those emotions, and feeling that I KNOW you have, deep down and keep them hidden forever. You told me this. Well, they are not going to be hidden forever, because they will eventually come out, pretending to be happy doesnt make you better, it makes you worse. You are the most hard headed person I know.
I’m waiting for God to do what He promised me He will do. I’m not going to be broken hearted forever, and either He will completely take away my pain, or He will bring you back to me. I pray for you every day, that God will break down the walls you have built around your heart, that you will open up to me, but more importantly that you will open up to God. He knows your heart, and He knows what you are hiding, and if you dont reveal those things…He will.
Just know that I will wait for you as long as possible. But, Im not going to wait forever, eventually God will bring another into my life that will do what you failed to. I love you with all of my heart, you have said things to me that have crushed my heart, and my soul…but I am ok, and I forgive you. I just know that this person you are trying to convince yourself, and others, is truly you is just a big lie. I know the real you, the you I fell deeply in love with, and I miss that person more than anything in the world. I will continue to pray, and trust in Gods timing, because it is perfect.
All my love,