Today is the first day of the rest of my life. As scared as I am I know that it will all be worth it. It will allow people and myself to know the real me that I feel I may have lost years ago. I have grown to be afraid of most everything; from hospitals, to heartbreak, and failures. My life has been at a stand still while somehow still in motion. I am not sure where my life is going but I still have dreams. Today, I am going to therapy for my fear and anxiety. Problem is that it is in a hospital. Did I mention I was afraid of those? This should be interesting but I know it will be well worth it. I want to fall in love, I want to be happy with my everyday. I want to be the best me that I can be.
I hope never to look back on this and wonder what if I hadn’t had this “problem”, because it has made me the strong person that I am today. There are so many things in our life that can go wrong, struggles we have, and inner fears and even don’t know about. When you see someone, you really can’t judge them from the outside. I know we all do it, myself included, but from the outside, if I was judging me and didn’t know what was going on, I would assume I lived a close to perfect life. Not that I am complaining but I don’t show my problems to the world. I walk around campus all day, as that sorority girl, dark blown out hair, makeup always done and the perfect outfit to match. Just so you know even we aren’t perfect.
We all have struggles, I know that I even still look at other girls in my house and think wow, they fun, pretty, outgoing…
From the outside looking in you can never understand it and for me right now I cant even explain it. I know it is going to get better. This is perhaps the first day of the rest of my life.