• That one day

    by  • February 6, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, School • 0 Comments

    Do you ever wake up one morning feeling great, hop out of bed and everything just seems to turn to crap? This has been my day, aside from being late and sitting next to a young man in my chem lecture who smelt god awful, I have no idea what to do. I’m a sophomore in college and have no idea where to go. I have a second chance at something, the first time I was turned down based on a 40 minute interview. Which really sucks cause this could have been life changing and I messed it up because of what I said. HA isn’t that ironic. A few words on the negative and you are out. But like I said I have a second chance but I don’t know if I should go through with it. What happens if I get accepted?! It’s one hell of a commitment. But then what happens if I don’t get accepted the second time?! What then will I do to find myself. Look inside, you have to make things happen in college, it’s all up to you if you want a change. Well hello I am trying. Various clubs and they just don’t cut it…. Some day’s trying just seems like to much. But then another question comes up; am I that type of girl?! I mean could I actually fit in with these girls?! Like I am me, and that has been hard enough to explore, but do I put to much on what people think of me. The stereotypical quiet person is what people peg me as, “She doesn’t say anything so she must not have ANYTHING to say”. Contrary to popular belief I do speak, I just don’t strike up a conversation with a random person because I feel like it. And this I feel is my downfall. I don’t meet a lot of people in class well because I am there to learn not socialize. And yes this makes me sound just a tad selfish, but hey I never thought I would get the chance to be here, I mess it up enough without ignoring the professor in lecture. Then I don’t know why I have this idea stuck in my head, is it what I really want or is what I think I want because I see others having that life and I want what they have. Then I stop myself and say, but this is me, this is my life I don’t want theirs I want mine I just don’t know what mine is yet. All I know is I have a decision to make, and quickly.

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