My nights are still the same. Three years and nothing’s changed. I’m wide eyed and full of crazy talk at 5 in the morning. I can’t shut my brain off. It won’t stop. I can’t stop thinking about him. I wonder what he’s doing right now. I wonder if he’s thinking about me. I wonder if he’s safe and out of trouble. I wonder who he’s laying next to right now. Is he holding her like he used to hold me? Do they have a nightly routine like we used to? He used to kiss me on my forehead and then my nose and then my lips before falling into our usual positions before bed.
“I love you”
“I love you too baby”
“Forever and ever.”
Is that their before bed routine too?