• I thought you

    by  • February 5, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Betrayal • 3 Comments

    You walk me to my door
    Hug and Kiss me
    Said, “I love you”
    Then turn and walk away

    I watched you walking way
    You did not glance back
    I watched you ‘till I could not see you
    You did not even turn for a last glance

    You said you loved me
    But what does that mean to you?
    Was I just a person to claim?
    Is that really love?

    Did you know me?
    Did you care?
    Did you love me?
    Is this all I deserve?

    I kept my lips sealed with my thoughts
    Was that fair to you?
    I did not let you past my wall
    I was afraid

    I watched you walking way
    You did not glance back
    I watched you ‘till I could not see you
    You did not even turn for a last glance

    3 Responses to I thought you

    1. lady
      February 5, 2012 at 1:55 pm

      someone only loves you if they turn around every time they walk away from you?
      god forbid someone has something else on their mind…

    2. puzzle
      February 5, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      yeah i thought the same thing; so incredibly childlish and immature and probably taken from the movies jeez!

    3. says it all
      February 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

      the title says it all “I THOUGHT YOU”

      I thought this, so i did that
      I thought that, so i did this
      I thought then, so i went there
      I thought you said…, so i said nothing
      I wondered if you loved me but didn’t ask
      I wondered if you cared but said nothing
      I wondered if keeping quiet was fair to you (well not really because if I truly wondered i would’ve asked but it’s ok because i have a good reason, i’m scared)
      I watched you walk away but couldn’t bring myself to say anything
      I asked myself all the questions instead of you because my answers allow me to retain control over the story.
      I must write numerous stories though because I must analyze ALL possibilities or the suspense of not knowing will eat me up. I CAN NOT ASK ANYONE.
      I wrote about it all here knowing “fate” would bring you here and you would come read them.
      I know you come here because I keep track.
      Ask me for confirmation? Butt out.
      I want you to read all my thoughts even the ones where i insult and make fun of you.
      I want to know everything about how you feel but im not willing to ask you anything but it works for me because…i can think it.
      I can just think every single possibility (that i can think of anyway) and write on here so that you can come read what YOU think. I don’t care that none of its exactly what you think because i all i need is me. Doesn’t matter that i can’t know your perspective.
      Ask me? None of your business, i hate your guts.
      Its better for me if I choose what you are thinking because im so much better at writing. It’s perfectly possible! So i never have to do anything else! Never have to ask anyone anything.
      I think and think and think then follow up with actions required to write, write, write, squashing any and ALL distractions that might interfere with my perfecting of this process. No one will take me away from my world. But for some reason, I tend to over think things. But that’s ok because i will write it all out. It comes so easily. I think and think then write and write, shut people out. More to think, more to write. The more i do it the better i get. The better I get the more i do it. The more i do it, the less contact i have with real people. the less contact i have with real people the more i think. the more i think the more i write.
      I just can’t stop.
      *sigh*… if only changing didn’t actually require me to change any of my actions. :/

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