It was my fault.

Hey,

I know it’s been a while since we’ve spoken. I’ve tried to pretend you weren’t around when I’d see you out at the bars or in public. I just didn’t want you to see the hurt in my eyes.

I wanted you to know…I know it was my fault. I like to blame the hurt and pain on you because of the way our relationship ended. You just ended things suddenly, but to me I knew the reasons. You knew I wasn’t treating you right. I don’t blame you for getting rid of me. I’m the prime example for not knowing what I have until it’s gone.

Here we are, almost 3 years later, and I’m still in love with you more than ever. I see your smile, the goofy way you cross your eyes, the way you used to make me smile with your jokes. I miss the way you held me at night, and being able to talk on the phone for hours at a time. I miss the smell of your sweatshirt, and I miss Lucky and Jack.

It hurts me knowing I gave you back everything you’ve given me. Giving up your sweatshirt, and the stuffed animals…I know it was the right choice at the time. I just wish I had them right now to calm me down, help me move on. I burned all your pictures and notes, anything that reminded me of you. I’ve never felt more…alone.

I’m just hoping I cross your mind every once in a while, and that one day you call me to say you want to talk. I miss you, I need you, I still love you.

<3