These last few years have been rough. They have stolen the words from me. Poetry, music and art soothed but never cured the doubt and the fear. But…it’s time to heal. Or maybe I won’t heal but it is time to move on in any right.
Maybe these last few years are what life really is. Maybe it is tragic and cruel and unfair. Maybe people just get sick. Maybe they just get depressed. Maybe people just live and die in an instant. Maybe people always find a way to leave and I am left to pick up the pieces.
So maybe I have been broken by you and those others who are no longer here but those pieces will come together again. I thought I had to forgive you, but really I had to forgive myself. Because although the world is tragic and cruel and unfair…it is all we have to cling to.
I cling to the sun, to the wind in my hair. To music that holds divine truths. To the places in our memories. I am learning to live and though I am forever sorry that I couldn’t save you from your demons I won’t succumb to my own. I am living and I’m not guilty anymore.
I love you forever and I pray you are happy,