Watching movies in your house. It’s almost like you’re here. The blank walls are almost worse than if this house was still filled with your things. I miss you so much some days and I feel so badly for even remembering the bad things about our relationship. I wonder how you died. I’m happy for you. I bet it’s pretty great up there. but part of me feels selfish for wanting you here again. I knew you hurt, in more ways than one and it isn’t fair to you to make you stay here were you’re so unhappy just so I can have you. I don’t watch a Dr. Phil without thinking about what you’d say, which ones you’d like.
There’s so much we won’t get to do together. And honestly, that sucks. I really meant everything I said in that letter I wrote you this summer.
I love you mommy