Dear (whoever is reading this)…
I’m not writing this for anyone to feel bad for me… that’s actually the last thing i would ever want. I’m just here looking for a little guidance with my current situation.
To summarize my life up in a couple of sentences, as of right now i’m a freshman in college. My father passed away when I was nine, and ever since his death i’ve been ultimately unable to allow anyone or any guy into my life. I’ve built up a large barrier and won’t let anyone knock down, and for the most part it is ruining my chances of ever being able to form a stable relationship. It’s not that I don’t want to be able to date guys, it’s just that whenever I come to that point of actually getting serious with a guy, I find ANY reason to stop talking to him. I DO want to be able to let someone in, and essentially be able to really pour my heart out to someone.
I guess it’s just that i’m scared. I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared of having to go through the tragedy of losing someone I love again. But as of right now, my heart won’t let me open up. And it’s killing me. I want to be able to let someone in so that I can move on with my life and not be alone forever. The thought of never being able to open up and express myself to someone scares me more than almost anything.
I need your help. If you can give me some advice as to how I can open my heart and trust guys without the fear of being left keep me from falling in love, it would honestly mean the world to me. I want to beat this, and I know you can help me.