• this is me

    by  • February 3, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Dating, Help • 3 Comments

    Dear (whoever is reading this)…

    I’m not writing this for anyone to feel bad for me… that’s actually the last thing i would ever want. I’m just here looking for a little guidance with my current situation.

    To summarize my life up in a couple of sentences, as of right now i’m a freshman in college. My father passed away when I was nine, and ever since his death i’ve been ultimately unable to allow anyone or any guy into my life. I’ve built up a large barrier and won’t let anyone knock down, and for the most part it is ruining my chances of ever being able to form a stable relationship. It’s not that I don’t want to be able to date guys, it’s just that whenever I come to that point of actually getting serious with a guy, I find ANY reason to stop talking to him. I DO want to be able to let someone in, and essentially be able to really pour my heart out to someone.

    I guess it’s just that i’m scared. I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared of having to go through the tragedy of losing someone I love again. But as of right now, my heart won’t let me open up. And it’s killing me. I want to be able to let someone in so that I can move on with my life and not be alone forever. The thought of never being able to open up and express myself to someone scares me more than almost anything.

    I need your help. If you can give me some advice as to how I can open my heart and trust guys without the fear of being left keep me from falling in love, it would honestly mean the world to me. I want to beat this, and I know you can help me.

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    3 Responses to this is me

    1. B
      February 5, 2012 at 1:38 am

      Opening up to, and trusting people is remarkably difficult to do, special situations aside. There may be someone already in your life that’s in the right place for you to open up to them.

      To start, don’t try for a relationship, it’d be something akin to jumping off the deep end when trying to learn to swim. Scour your group of friends for a guy you want to get closer to and start from there. Tell him what happened, show him this letter and tell him you want him to be the first guy that gets inside that barrier.

      If that doesn’t seem like a viable option, let me know. It might be easier to open up to someone through electronic means, so as to keep a safe distance in spite of what you share.

      Regardless, I wish you the best of luck.


    2. relief & relieved
      February 5, 2012 at 10:11 am

      Yes as ive so often said, I have the ability to help! Whether or not I can or do will be determined by YOU. Will you say ‘yes’ in time? Will you allow it in time? Will you do it before i am fatally wounded from the brutal crossfire you require me to live dead cemter in REPEATEDLY day after day if I am to remain on the scene?
      OR will you wait until AFTER?


    3. relief & relieved
      February 5, 2012 at 12:28 pm

      sorry. i was wrong and am incapable of doing anything helpful



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